Because I was half three-quarters out of my mind at the Playboy Mansion this Sunday, this entry will be brief. It was part of StarStreet's Fantasy Football Championship Event, and I was supposed to be covering it.
First off, it's a bad idea to have an open bar starting at 10 am. Second, if you're gluten-free as I am, and so you're not drinking beer, you have to get through six hours of football on vodka-sodas which go down too quickly and don't fill you up. (I blame myself for the tequila shots to which I agreed once things got out of hand).
Second, it's a problem when there are 40-50 attractive women walking around in their underwear outside on the manicured grounds of the mansion on a beautiful, sunny day. While you try to remain in the tent (where every game was on a different flat screen as well as the red-zone channel), you get drawn outside to the party, which also had unlimited (and decent) food. The more you drink, the less discipline you have in watching the games, and frankly, by the afternoon slate I could barely discern what was going on.
Third, there are ducks, peacocks and other giant birds running around randomly on the grounds. (It's a trippy place).
Here's what I did observe:
The Giants offense is arguably the worst in the NFL right now. Their defense is still decent, but Russell Wilson is so difficult to corral and able to make plays when he escapes.
Mike Shanahan was right to switch to Kirk Cousins and right to go for two even though it failed.
The Vikings nearly won in Baltimore, then smoked the Eagles without Adrian Peterson. While I Taiwan Jones' failure last year kept me from investing in Matt Asiata (I vowed to avoid the region entirely), Asiata is probably the worst real-life RB ever to score 20 fantasy points in a game.
The Cowboys are the softest team in the league.
Justin Tucker had the best game for a kicker in NFL history, especially given this was essentially a playoff game for both teams. He also referenced what he did for fantasy owners (including himself) in the post-game interview.
The Chargers were a better team than the Broncos Thursday night, and the game was in Denver. San Diego's offense was more crisp, more consistent and able to control the game. The Broncos offense made occasional plays, but they couldn't run and had no sustained rhythm.
The Niners always beat up on bad teams, and the venue doesn't matter.
Ryan Tannehill is quietly on pace for about 4,100 yards and 27 TDs, despite a terrible offensive line, no running game of which to speak and mediocre weapons.
Matt Ryan is not and never has been a good fantasy quarterback without Julio Jones. Ryan gets the 49ers next week and Panthers in Week 17, so you can safely drop him.
There's no greater joy in life than checking the box score in the Jets-Panthers game and noticing my defensive lineman in the Steak League, Sheldon Richardson, got a rushing touchdown. That's the league were we have a side bet on who's buying steaks based on season-long point totals.
The Saints are 3-4 on the road and 7-0 at home.
If you subtract Jamaal Charles' receiving yards from the Chiefs offense, there's only 92 passing and 78 rushing yards left. But the Chiefs scored 56 points.