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The Nightcap! (Metro|FRONTS|Region Edition)

This edition of The Nightcap has just listened to hours and hours of radio ads from a different market.

Notables

Alexis Rios went 4-for-4 today with a homer and stolen base to bring his average up to .322 on the season. Did you know that he entered play with a slash line of .309/.366/.565 and with an 18-for-22 stolen base record?!?

A.J. Pierzynski went 4-for-5 today. He represents the rare instance in which I'll totally avoid rostering a player on account of he's a giant d-bag.

Jake Westbrook: 22 balls in play, 13 of them grounders. That may not be GREAT from a fantasy perspective, but it makes him a pretty effective major league pitcher.

• Pop quiz! R.A. Dickey (a) owns one of the least flow-y acronym names ever or (b) recorded 8 K and only 1 BB over 7 IP today at Baltimore? The answer is, of course, (c) both.

John Jaso recorded 3 BB in 5 total PA tonight. In other news, I'm developing a giant nerd-crush on John Jaso.

Julio Borbon is somehow batting .277 after today's contest at Milwaukee. On May 8th he was batting under .200.

Corey Hart went 2-for-3 today with a HR and BB. His isolated slugging entering play today was .332, which was second (behind Jose Bautista!) of all 179 qualified batters.

Francisco Liriano struck out 11 of the 28 batters he faced today. Also, he walked 0 of the batters he faced. Do you think he won or lost?

Jason Vargas is a lefty, extreme fly-ball pitcher who hardly walks anyone. Safeco is a good place for him to pitch. Even better? Petco. That's where he started tonight's game: 6 IP, 5 K, 2 BB, 2 ER. It's not totally exciting, but it's EXACTLY what you'd expect from Vargas.

• This just in: Tim Lincecum NOT a bad pitcher. Tonight's line for The Freak: 8.0 IP, 7 K, 1 BB, 2 ER. Also, his changeup got 7 whiffs over the 21 times he threw it. That equals awesome.

Caution, Warning

Yuniesky Betancourt hit his fifth homer of the season, proving that the world will almost definitely end sooner than later.

Jamie Moyer pitched made it only into the second inning at Boston, allowing 9 H and 9 ER while facing only 13 batters.

Rich Harden gave up 4 HR today while facing just 28 batters. That means his opponent, the Brewers, batted .143 if you count  ONLY home runs.

Michael Napoli got the ol' Golden Sombrero tonight. Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't a Golden Sombrero sounds like a TOTALLY AWESOME thing to get?!?

Stolen Bases

Juan Pierre (24), Carl Crawford (20), Alexis Rios (19), Jose Reyes (16), Ryan Theriot (14), Shane Victorino (14), Brandon Phillips (9), Adam Kennedy (8), Corey Patterson (7), Milton Bradley (6), Garrett Jones (5), Scott Moore (3), Alex Avila (2), Brennan Boesch (2), Ronny Paulino (1), Kevin Russo (1).

Caught Stealing

Nyjer Morgan (10), Julio Borbon (6), Alexis Rios (5), David Wright (5), Kelly Johnson (3), Scott Rolen (2).

Save Chances

Chris Perez, converted (6). He pitched 1.2 innings for the save because Kerry Wood isn't going on back-to-back nights.

Mariano Rivera, converted (15). Grounder, strikeout looking, strikeout swinging. In that order.

Joakim Soria, converted (15). It's probably NOT how you'd draw it up: he was KC's eighth pitcher and he allowed 2 H with the Royals leading by just a single run. But, still.

Jon Rauch, converted (16). He tossed 3 K while facing 3 batters in 1 IP. So, that's pretty good.

Ryan Franklin, converted (11). It was a 1.2 IP save. Good for Ryan Friggin Franklin.

David Aardsma, blown. It came down, at one point, to getting Adrian Gonzalez out. Instead, Gonzalez hit a 2B.

Brian Wilson, converted (16). He threw 0.1 IP and got a K. And also a save, somehow.

Closer, Non-Save

Bobby Jenks pitched 0.2 innings with the Pale Hose up 10-5 over their crosstown rivals.

Jose Valverde got one fewer K than Justin Verlander in six fewer innings.

Francisco Rodriguez pitched exactly one inning and recorded exactly 3 K. That's about as good as you can do.

Non-Closer Outing

Clay Hensley's 3 K in 1.1 IP tonight gives him 42 K in 32.1 IP for the season. Hot dog!

Lineup-ology

Jayson Nix played third for the White Sox today. He has (a) as many Ys in his name as, but (b) way better plate discipline than, his brother Jayson.

Neil Walker played his fifth game at third base. That might make him eligible at the position in your league. Or not.

• Did Jim Leyland accidentallty confuse Don Kelly with Ryan Raburn? Because the former played left field and batter third for the Tigers today.

• The Chris Carter who DOESN'T play for Sacramento started at DH today for the Mets. He hit a homer, is what he did.

• The Kevin Russo who played left field for the Yankers today is -- according to my totally secret sources -- NOT related to TV's Blossom.

• Ramon Pena played third for Alex Rodriguez, who's been diagnosed with tendinitis in his hip flexor tendon.

Dustin Pedroia was removed in the 6th inning of today's Red Sox gave versus Philly. He was replaced at second by Bill Hall, who moved in from left field.

Ross Gload started at DH for the Phillies today at Boston. In other news, Ross Gload is still a major leaguer. Sort of.

Carlos Pena batted cleanup for just the 11th time this season after batting their most of the time in 2009.

Pat Burrell started at left field today for the San Francisco Giants for what looks like the fifth time.

The Young and Potentially Restless

• Cleveland catching prospect Carlos Santana made his major league debut tonight, batting third and playing, uh, catcher. He went 0-for-3 with a walk and caught one of two attempted base stealers.

Mike Stanton recorded 3 K and 2 H (a 2B and a 3B) in 5 AB. That's a 1.000 BABIP for everyone scoring at home.