This edition of the Nightcap totally ignores the games in San Diego and San Francisco, even though those guys were totally awesome saints.

Notables

• Garrett Jones went some way towards addressing his deflated BABIP (.255) this afternoon, going 5-for-6 with a donger at Chicago (NL).

• Here's a surprising thing to me: Tom Gorzelanny entered play today with 36 Ks in 35 IPs. Here's a second surprising thing: he struck out seven more in five innings. Finally, here's a question: who died and made Tom Gorzelanny really good?

• David Ortiz hit two home runs today. He's exasperating to think about. So, let's not, actually.

• Joe Mauer went 3-for-4 with a home run and walk. He also admitted to being part cyborg (on his mother's side).

• Scott Baker had a weird night versus the Yankers, striking out 9 of the 28 batters he faced but also allowing 10 hits. He appears to've allowed 9 hits on 17 balls in play. That's unlucky.

• I heart Justin Masterson. Did he pitch well tonight? No (4 K, 5 BB, 5.1 IP). I don't care: I HEART Justin Masterson.

• Say wha-? Corey Patterson went 3-for-4 with a walk while playing left field for the O's. Seriously, say wha-?

• Pop quiz: Which of these batters is now batting over .300: Elvis Andrus or Fred Lewis? Hm? Well, I'll tell you: it's a trick question. They're both batting over it. One thing, though: Lewis has like a 1:4 BB:K ratio. That's not so good.

• Jaime Garcia is sweet music. Not only does he induce hella ground balls, but he also struck out six while walking one today.

• John Jaso only got on base once. Yes, that's news nowadays -- dude has a .474 OBP.

• Shane Victorino went 3-for-5, mostly because he's sweet at baseball. Don't be swayed

• New Kansas City manager Ned Yost led his team to victory, 6-1, over the Pale Hose.

• Joe Saunders and Dallas Braden each pitched complete games in Anaheim this evening. Only 208 pitches between them. Braden had 5 Ks and 1 BB; Saunders had 6 Ks and 2 BBs.

Caution, Warning

• Oliver Perez had allowed only a single homer in 30 innings coming into play today. That's what a 2.6|PERCENT| HR/FB rate will do for you. Today? Not so good: Perez allowed four homers in 3.1 IP. Oops.

Stolen Bases

• Andrew McCutchen (11 & 12) / Travis Snider (3) / Mike Sweeney (1) / Justin Upton (6) / Mark Kotsay (1) / Scott Podsednik (13) /

Caught Stealing

• Alexi Casilla (1) / Greg Golson (1) / Yadier Molina (3) / Jason Heyward (1) / Cliff Pennington (2)

Save Chances

• Ryan Franklin, converted. It wasn't pretty, though: 1 IP, 3 H, 1 R.

• Dave Aardsma, converted. Recorded 2 Ks, no hits or anything.

• Chad Qualls, blown. This is getting to be a distressinly frequent occurrence. Trying to protect a one-run lead, Qualls allowed three hits and a walk in just one-third of an inning.

Other Closer Outings

• Octavio Dotel. He pitched an inning with Pittsburgh up by four over Chicago. Recorded 2 Ks and a BB.

• Mariano Rivera. Pitched an uneventuful inning -- no walks, no strikeouts, no nothing -- with the Yankers up 8-4 over Minnesota.

• Billy Wagner allowed a run on two hits, but (a) had 2 Ks and (b) benefited from facing Chad Qualls.

• Jose Contreras pitched today. I don't know: is he the closer? Anyway, he pitched an inning and recorded a K with the Phils up 9-5.

Lineup-ology

• Alexi Casilla played shortstop in place of the injured J.J. Hardy -- and walked!

• Juan Miranda played DH in place of the injured DH -- and hit a double!

• Colby Rasmus batted leadoff for the second time this year (and also the second time in four games). The Cardinals should keep doing this.

• Jason Heyward batted second for the first time this year. It'd be great for the Braves' chances of scoring runs if he KEPT doing it.

• Paul Hoover played catcher for the Phillies today. He might due that through the weekend, on account of Carlos Ruiz is out with something called a "sprained capsular."