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Rangers are SPL Champions. (Yawn.)

Congratulations to Rangers and their fans on winning the Scottish Premier League this season. It's a worthy triumph for Walter Smith and his men, but it comes in Europe's most predictable league.
 
The SPL has been dominated by Rangers and their arch rivals and silent partners Celtic for a generation. No team outside these two has won the top division in Scottish soccer since Aberdeen did it in 1985. In the 12 years of the current format, there was only one season where Rangers and Celtic did not finish 1-2 in some order: Hearts took second place in 2005-06, pushing Rangers down to third that year.
 
Hardcore fans of the league's various clubs can make what they want of this. For me, it makes the league unwatchable. Rangers' and Celtic's success comes through the large sums of money they generate, and the lack of a salary cap. Each club have had debt struggles, but nothing so serious that it couldn't pare back and finish second for a couple years before resuming this two-horse race.
 
The other clubs in the SPL are of two minds: on the one hand, it's tough to start each season with third place as the target; on the other, the home games against Celtic and Rangers are guaranteed sellouts at inflated ticket prices. Once every few years, there's chatter about Celtic and Rangers joining the English league system. Whenever this happens, the remaining Scottish clubs' "can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em" attitude is on full display.
 
Underpinning the whole situation is the political and religious tension between Celtic's (united Ireland, Catholic) and Rangers' (British loyalist, Protestant) fanbases. The clubs claim to play this antagonism down, but it's always with a wink—the rivalry is what rings the cash register, even when that rivalry erupts into sectarian violence. At the highest levels, these clubs work hand in hand to maximize profits; the unofficial conspiracy is called the Old Firm.
 
Me, I'll pass. I get a charge out of the Guardian newspaper writers who purposely wind up both fanbases by referring to the clubs as "The Queen's Celtic" and "The Pope's O'Rangers"—deliberately confusing allegiances. But until the Old Firm leaves for England, or another team rises to challenge the duopoly, the only way I'll show week-to-week interest in the SPL is if I ever move to Scotland.