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NHL Playoff Hockey Observations -- Wednesday and Thursday

Just a few things that caught my eye:

  • Dodgeball is a sport of violence, exclusion and degradation. Just ask Marc Andre Fleury who looked like a pre-pubescent geek with tape on his glasses and zero kinesthetic sense on Wednesday night. How else do you explain those angles? MA, it's your home arena, honey. Thank you, Chuck Norris.
  • The Canucks' Green Men -- those spandex-clad distracters beside the opposing penalty box -- are named Force and Sully. They have 28,044 fans on Facebook; they Tweet to their fans. Could someone Tweet back and tell them to wear jocks under their suits? I've never seen a man who looks good in spandex -- it just accentuates the... underwhelming. 
  • Linus van Pelt said his first words in 1954; 20 years later, Jaroslav Spacek was born. And 56 years later, Spacek channeled his best Linus and laid the wettest, heaviest blanket he could find on Alexander Ovechkin who had no shots Thursday night. You read that right -- zero, ziltch, nada. That's only the second time this season that Alexander the Gr8 has been shut out. Nice work, old man, but look out next game. You have woken the Russian bear. 
  • Speaking of waking bears -- Toni Lydman, what were you thinking? That was quite the brain fart.
  • The best part about living in Canada? Every game of every series will be televised. The worst, Mike Milbury. Thank gawd I have a mute button. And a PVR.
  • Sure, the NHL is cracking down on stick infractions. Right. Anze Kopitar's old apple-on-the-head trick with Henrik Sedin's visor was a classic. Thank the hockey gawds that it was just an Easton and not an actual arrow.
  • Pack your bags, Carey Price. The decision has been made. The Habs had no business winning that game; Jaroslav Halak was the only reason they were able to steal home ice advantage.
  • Keith Yandle -- the best blueiner no-one knows including the US Olympic team brass. But I digress.
  • Alexandre Burrows is like that pimple that never, ever comes to a head. Instead it just gets bigger, uglier and more irritating with each passing day. After game one, I think that pimple is on Drew Doughty's back, right in that spot that he can't reach.
  • Dumbo Joe is at it again. The Olympics were ugly; these playoffs will be double coyote ugly. He's already chewed off one arm to escape the ugly chick but the second one, Joe? Are you eliminating the evidence in case she comes searching for a one-armed man? Either way, you can't score. And you can't golf either.